作者Revd Dr Samuel Wells 聖馬田堂主任牧師 每當我們一起聚集,紀念那些在戰爭中死去的人的時候,我們會分享戰時發生的故事,並很努力地附加意義。在這些故事裡,有些詞語會反覆出現——比如高尚、榮譽、自由和尊嚴。但也許最常見的詞語是一個宗教詞彙:犧牲 。我今天想簡要反思一下我們所理解的三種犧牲。 第一種,捨棄不願去殺人念頭的犧牲。當我們派遣士兵上戰場參戰時,我們其實在要求他們推翻他們從小所學到、一切關於生命的重要事情。請聽一個二次世界大戰中一名士兵的故事。這名士兵的小隊遭到狙擊手襲擊,狙擊手就如狩住一個漁棚,將士兵逐個逐個獵殺。這名士兵非常惶恐、懼怕,但當他闖進了狙擊手所在的小屋,發現自己身處一個空的房間裏,面前有一扇門,通向另一個房間。他知道必需要打破這扇門,但他也非常懼怕打破門後,狙擊手就會殺死他。但實際上,狙擊手被狙擊揹帶卡住了,根本轉身不及。這名士兵回憶道,“他被安全帶纏住了,然後我用左輪手槍射殺他,我感到自責和羞恥。我記得,我傻傻地低聲説了句:‘對不起’,然後就嘔吐大作……我吐滿了一身。” 這件事背叛了我從小所學習,對生命的認知。” 突然地這名士兵被孤立了。他發現自己是一個殺手。現在請聽我說另一個故事,是我的一位朋友,有一天下午在教會禮堂裏聽一位越戰老兵說話。在長桌旁邊的一名年長婦女開始攻擊他,她說:“你沒有資格為你那場不成熟的小戰裝可憐!第二次世界大戰才是真正的戰爭!二戰時你出生了嗎?哼?!我就是在二次大戰中失去一個兄弟的!” 老兵和我的朋友試圖忽略她,把她當作一個平常路過的人。但最終老兵受夠了,瞪着她,平靜而冷酷地説:“你有無試過需要殺人嗎?” 女人挑釁地回答“當然沒有!”那老兵說:“那你有什麼資格告訴我任何事情?” 整個禮堂隨即陷入了漫長而痛苦的沉默,就像在一個客人在主人家中,目睹了一場令人尷尬的家庭爭吵一樣。 然後那位朋友輕聲問老兵:“剛才那女人不肯放過你,逼人太甚,你為了還擊,說出了你在越南需要殺人的事實。那麽殺人在你心裡是不是最糟糕的事?” “是啊,”他説。 “是最糟糕的事的其中一半了。” 我等了很久,他都沒有繼續説下去,只是盯着他的啤酒。最後,我不得不問他:“那麽另一半最糟糕的事是什麼?” 老兵回答:“另一半是,當我們回到家鄉時,根本沒有人理解我們。” 這就是我們期望士兵們作出的第二種犧牲。我們期望他們進入某種層次的經歷,然後因著這些經歷,令他們與群體分開。他們從此進入了一個靜默的世界,因為沒有作過他們這種犧牲的人,是不會真正理解他們。因此士兵戰友之間常常有著某程度的親密感,而這種親密感會因著一起追求更高層次的善行而受苦而有所增強。士兵之間的情誼,往往比他們與妻子之間的情誼更加牢固。 和平紀念日就是去肯定這種親密情誼的尊嚴,以及它的代價。因此今天我們紀念的不僅僅是陣亡者:還有那些生命從此變得不一樣的人——士兵、家人和朋友。彷佛聽到老兵在說:“沒有人理解我們”,回音不絶。國殤紀念主日是一個小小的心意,表達我們“至少在嘗試”的心態。我們的默哀,是感恩的沉默,和努力嘗試理解的心意。 但今天我們還要記得有第三個犧牲。這就是十字架的犧牲。耶穌走上了十字架,因為他知道他是神永不止息的愛的化身,這意味着他將不得不面對死亡。但《舊約》和《新約》的整體已清楚表明,耶穌的犧牲之所以有意義,是因為它是所有犧牲的終結: 耶穌的犧牲除去了罪,並為所有受造物能在上帝的同在裡得到了同得興旺的和平展開序幕。神子的犧牲是結束一切犧牲的犧牲。所以,“結束所有戰爭的戰爭”並不是第一次世界大戰:而是十字架。十字架的好消息從根本上來宣告:戰爭經已結束。 這個真理,值得為之而死。卻不一定值得為它去殺人。 否則我們如何跟被我們殺的人去分享這個好消息呢? 從那場所謂結束所有戰爭的第一次世界大戰至今已過了 105 年,從那宣告停戰的復活至今已過了 2000 年,然而我們仍然在要求我們的士兵做這些令人敬畏的犧牲,而他們也以驚人的勇氣和尊嚴繼續這樣做。有時我會想,假如我們問我們在天上的父,十字架最糟糕的事是什麼,他會停頓很長的一段時間,然後説:“最糟糕的事,是犧牲我的獨生子……不過這只是其中的一半。” 如果我們在沉默中等待,最後鼓起勇氣問天父 “那麽另一半是什麼?”,他會説,“另一半是2000年後,卻仍然沒有人理解。” When we gather together to remember those that have died in war, we share stories and strive to make meanings. And certain words recur – words like noble, and honour, and freedom, and dignity. But perhaps the most common word of all is a religious one: sacrifice. I want to reflect briefly on three kinds of sacrifice in our minds today.
The first is the sacrifice of the unwillingness to kill. When we send soldiers to war we ask them to overturn everything we teach them about life. Consider this story of a soldier in WW2. The soldier was among a company being attacked by a sniper. The sniper was a fishing shack, and was picking off soldiers one by one. The soldier was terrified by fear, but he broke into the shack and found himself in an empty room. There was a door to another room. He realised he needed to break this second door down, but he feared that when he did so the sniper would kill him. But it turned out the sniper was stuck in a sniper harness and could not turn around fast enough. The soldier recalled, "He was entangled in the harness so I shot him with a revolver and I felt remorse and shame. I can remember whispering foolishly, 'I'm sorry' and then just throwing up . . . I threw up all over myself. It was a betrayal of what I'd been taught since a child." Suddenly this man was isolated. He discovered he was a killer. Here is another account, this time of a friend listening as a Vietnam war veteran talks one afternoon in a parish hall. Beside the bar, an older woman began to attack him. "You got no right to snivel about your little half-baked war. World War Two was a real war. Were you even alive then? Huh? I lost a brother in World War Two." The two friends tried to ignore her; she was only a local character. But finally the veteran had had enough. He looked at her and calmly, coldly said: "Have you ever had to kill anyone?" "Well no!" she answered belligerently. "Then what right have you got to tell me anything?" There was a long, painful silence throughout the hall, as would occur in a home where a guest had just witnessed an embarrassing family argument. Then the friend asked quietly, "When you got pushed just now, you came back with the fact that you had to kill in Vietnam. Was that the worst of it for you?" "Yah," he said. "That's half of it." I waited for a very long time, but he didn't go on. He only stared into his beer. Finally I had to ask, "What was the other half?" "The other half was that when we got home, nobody understood." And this is the second sacrifice we expect of our soldiers. We expect them to enter a level of experience that separates them from community, to enter a world of silence, because nobody that hasn’t had to make that sacrifice really understands. Comrades in arms have a level of intimacy that is enhanced by the sense of suffering for the pursuit of a higher good. Soldiers often form bonds with one another that are stronger than the bonds they have with their wives. And Remembrance Sunday is a recognition of the dignity of this intimacy, but also of its cost. For it is not just the fallen we remember today: it is those whose lives were never the same again – soldiers, families and friends. We hear the echo of the veteran’s words ‘nobody understood’. Remembrance Sunday is a small gesture to say, ‘at least we are trying’. Our silence is a silence of gratitude and an effort to understand. But there is a third sacrifice we recall today. And that is the sacrifice of the cross. Jesus went to the cross as one who knew that his embodiment of God’s never-ending love meant he was going to have to face death. But the whole shape of the Old and New Testaments presents Jesus’ sacrifice as only making sense as the last sacrifice, the one that finally took away sin and inaugurated the peaceful flourishing of all creation in God’s company. The sacrifice of the Son of God is the sacrifice to end all sacrifice. So the war to end all wars was not the First World War: it was the cross. The good news of the cross is fundamentally that the war is over. And that is a truth to die for. But not necessarily a truth to kill for. For how can we share that good news with someone we have killed? And yet, 105 years on from the war to end all wars, 2000 years on from the resurrection that proclaimed the war is over, we are still asking our soldiers to make these awesome sacrifices. And with astonishing courage and dignity, they continue to do so. Sometimes I think if we asked our heavenly Father what was the worst part of the cross he would pause for a long time and say ‘the sacrifice of my only Son… that was half of it.’ And if we waited in a terrible silence and finally found courage to ask "What was the other half?", he would say, "The other half was that 2000 years later, nobody understood."
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